Tingles of Mania

manicInside

Tingles up my spine, in my hands, feet, neck, and head. Sounds magnified by a billion… clanks, swooshes, drips, music from a house over, barking dogs, cars, the energy in my head. I swear I hear clown cars, elephants, people murmuring, popcorn bags crinkling, horns, tinkering bells, shoes shuffling, children laughing, a circus in my head.

Every sensation intensified 100 fold. Every ache a pain, every touch leaves a scorching path, every chill becomes a pleasantly painful shiver. Running my fingers through my hair is brutal yet somehow intoxicating.

I flee from tears to happiness… often irritable with boundless energy.

BOUNDLESS ENERGY.

Days become nights, and then nights back to days. Images fly through my head one after another. Dirt, trees, a smiling lady, retro car, beach, sand, beer, the sky, moon, stars, babies, holding hands, fire, weeds, butterflies, black and white photos, Gidget, music notes, piano, stadium lights, cars, people chattering, relay for life, school, books, money, flying, dreams, galaxies, GOD, energy.

Far above the earth, above the stars, flying in a luminous light… tingling head to toe.

This, my friend, is my mania.

Welcome to my world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you have ever experienced mania… you know this well. If you have never experienced mania… this is just the tip of  the iceberg.

Without fail… after mania is the crash into the deepest pit of depression… because of this… mania has a beauty, and is often sought and a place I never want to leave.

 

©bipolarmuse2018

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thebipolarmuse

All is, or will be revealed in thebipolarmuse.com

2 thoughts on “Tingles of Mania

  1. I know the feeling so well. First the mania where everything you do soars above and then I go through the bitch and yell and first elevated irritation with everything. That’s when I crash into the depression. I hate that feeling most of all. I have a great psychotherapist helping me find out who I am and why I stopped suddenly being able to walk. I am learning it from scratch like a baby. I’ve done a lot of learning about control but I still go beyond what is healthy for me and then feel terrible. But I agree the mania is the best but depression is always sure to be waiting to pull you into the darkness. My partner can read the signs. I never see the depression coming but she does. I never understand why. She said it’s caused by the mania. At least the mania lasts longer than the depressions and they don’t last as long. It’s so difficult to learn how to let yourself flow with wherever the wave takes you. I too hate the depressions but for some reason they don’t spin me out into feeling as suicidal. I don’t do medical cannabis any longer. Discovered it was making me ill. It took me over 4 mos to get the THC out of my system. I couldn’t eat. I thought I was going to die. Now I am feeling much better but I still face each day not knowing what will come next.

    Your writing is Great. Really intense, amazing & inspiring. Write like this and you will draw followers to you again. Hope you don’t mind

    Liked by 1 person

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